Shan’s here!!!

Finally after months, 5 of our family of six are under one roof and InshaAllah Aban will be here as well in June. Twenty more days inshaAllah till we are all together.

Abu hasn’t been feeling very well lately. The past ten days have been especially trying as his work hours have stretched incredibly what with the final budget days. This has taken a toll on him and his health. Yesterday, after Shan, Abu and I offered our Maghrib prayers, I saw my father struggling to get on his feet. The idea of my very energetic father having to make an effort simply to get up is simply nerve wrecking. While for parents the concept of their kids growing up is pure joy, the mere thought of seeing one’s parents grow old is just too painful.

I can’t help but wonder how our lives change. Despite the fact that I hardly see any changes in our day to day life, it still is altered every day irrevocably. How the daily stagnation results into a lifetime of changes is beyond comprehension.

My brother Shan has changed too. Although, as a sister I love both bhai and shan very much and admire them too for their achievements, I respect them for totally different reasons. While Bhai was always calm and mature, Shan was the one always getting into trouble. He was truly the youngest of the family with his list of demands. Now, while bhai has his set of achievements professionally and academically under his belt MashaAllah, I see Shan as someone who has taken brave decisions to be the man I know inshaAllah he is going to be. He has grown a beard, is offering his prayers diligently, stopped listening to music and instead has downloaded the Quran on his MP3 player. And most of all, he has truly learnt the message of Islam. He has learnt to control his temper, has become more respectful towards my parents and Bhai, he’s been here a week almost and hasn’t once picked on his food. Only months back, potatoes and legumes were the total constituents of his diet. Now, he eats whatever Ammi cooks. No more tantrums. I am MashaAllah very proud of him.

And it makes me wonder, while my younger brother has taken such leaps in his life as a person, why have I deteriorated? What is stopping me from becoming the person I always wanted to be?

Tomorrow is 19th May. I associate this day with two of the finest people I knew. My nana ji and Saddy’s father. Nana ji passed away five years ago and Saddy’s dad last year. I can write a lot about both of them. But I truly don’t think I can. I know that the love my nana ji gave me and the kindness saddy’s dad showed me is simply unparalleled. They are part of my prayers everyday…and I wish I could have learnt more from them.