After much tossing and turning last night while the wind blew the blinds around and the thunder roared, I am surprisingly in a pretty good mood. I guess the music in the office has a soothing effect on my nerves.

I learnt something yesterday. Whether the lesson is valuable or not…is something I will learn with time.

I know the subject of my marriage is completely worn out and yet my life still has some surprises in store for me. Matrimony has ceased to be an issue for me and in all honesty…I really do think I know better now. Last year has been enough of a lesson for me. But just because I have given up on it doesn’t mean the world or the people around me have. So, the topic will continue being discussed every time something surfaces.

I know girls or at least I did grow up thinking of marriage as a necessity attaching a certain element of glamour of love to it. And despite the whimsical use of love in this context, in all practicality what I wanted or thought I wanted was somebody I could be great friends with. The idea of him being religious was a top priority. But generally the requisites are a good personality, sound family back ground, education and good professional career. I regard good sense of humor to be a definite plus.

Till last night…the idea of such a man actually existing seemed ridiculous.

And yet, today knowing that such a person actually wants to include me in his life doesn’t make any difference.

I have been objective about this…or so I would like to think.

It doesn’t matter that a person says all the right things because his saying all the right things does not make him the right person. The fact that he thinks highly of me as an individual or is aware of my idiosyncrasies and finds them adorable doesn’t help at all.

But none of that bothers me. What troubles me is how am I supposed to say no to a friend?