Listen to the Exhortation of the Dawn!
Look to this Day!
For it is Life, the very Life of Life.
In its brief course lie all the
Varieties and Realities of your Existence.
The Bliss of Growth,
The Glory of Action,
The Splendor of Beauty;
For Yesterday is but a Dream,
And To-morrow is only a Vision;
But To-day well lived makes
Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness,
And every Tomorrow a Vision of Hope.
Look well therefore to this Day!
Such is the Salutation of the Dawn!

Yesterday dawned with infinite possibilities…or at least quite a lot of them. I had marked 14th Feb as a very important day in my life…and for totally different reasons than most of this world’s population. I woke up early, prayed the best I could and dressed the best I could while singing ‘I’m gonna get dressed for success’.

I left the home as hopeful I could possibly be & kept on praying the whole way. I reached FPSC and somehow my timing and that of other candidates matched perfectly as Amna, Hassan and I got out of our respective vehicles at the same time. We walked to the waiting room, three of us waiting for our destinies.

Destiny?

Some say it’s a matter of chance…for other’s it’s the choices we make.

For me…destiny is elusive.

These past few months, I have been trying to read the omens and signs to figure out what life has in store for me. I can say that I changed my dreams very radically just so I would have some control over who I become or where I might end up in future.

And yet today I am more clueless then I have been in the past.

I can’t say things are going as I planned them…they may turn out the way I wanted them to and may still take a turn for the best…I don’t know. But I do know that I am hopeful so call me a fool.

I came back to my office after my interview, determined to continue with my life. I was depressed but at least here I am welcomed and people tell me that I am needed here. Work runs more smoothly in the office. I believe them because I want to believe them.

I thought I was doing it right…
I was dreaming and acting….
I was planning and believing…

And I am not going to stop!

I just have to find new dreams now…

My class fellow Ali from Canada was depressed too yesterday, as was almost every one of my friends. I honestly think it’s an unintelligent idea to designate a day to love. Its puts pressure on people and makes them feel unwanted and alone.

So anyhoo, Ali was depressed and I was depressed. He was depressed cuz his girl is giving him a hard time. I was depressed because of the way my interview went. i was checking my mail and it was then that I realized that my inbox was full and yet so empty. I told Ali and the next thing I know, I got an e-card from him. He was sweet enough to send me a card to cheer me up.

Sanny and I had planned on visiting Saniya in the evening but sanny couldn’t make it so I went by myself. Though we both were not in our prime moods, we still enjoyed talking to each other.

My trip to Karachi is approaching but I am kinda worried about the riots in our country. They started after the issue of publication of those damned cartoons caught the world’s attention. And honestly, they are getting out of control. Yesterday it was isloo, today Peshawar is all pandemonium. It is so supremely ludicrous that Pakistani’s are killing Pakistanis instead of taking a positive action. Riots never solve anything. Chaos creates chaos. Violence begets violence. Sometimes I wonder how humans can go berserk!