Sam posted this in my scrapbook in the morning...

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This fall
I fall.
Have known for a long time.
It’s like seeing in the future,
Knowing what turn things will take,
How far you will go and then turn away.
Taking your own path,
Following your own dreams.
Knowing almost exactly to the minute
When I’ll feel the grip of your hand loosen around mine,
Feeling the uncertainty of the moment
When I panic and grab your hand
Trying to get that life-giving grip back…
To feel the warmth again….
I have the feeling in the pit of my stomach now…
That I’ll have then,
When you’ll pull your hand away.
Albeit if reluctantly.
I can see the look in your eyes
When you look into mine
And shake your head.
I can feel the warmth of your hand
That will cup my right cheek,
Your thumb on the dimple you adore now.
The butterfly touch of your fingers
As you tuck my hair behind my ear.
Like you have a million times before.
Like you’ll never do again.
Except when you enter my dreams,
Unannounced, uninvited.
I wonder if anyone understands,
This feeling of knowing what no one wishes to know
This curse of reality.
And still going on?
Watching the pit and not stopping?
Watching death and ignoring its existence?
This fall
I fall.
And I fall with open eyes.