How to go about this blog? I have so much to write so I’d better get on it.

Friday was like any other Friday except that Saddy and I went for Lunch to Arizona Grill. The food was alright and nothing unusual happened at the lunch. But as we exited the joint and reached our car, we came across a guy who was selling balloons. Saddy told me to go sit in the car and I did but then I saw what she was doing. She bought me a Heart shaped balloon and two roses to go with it. There was a lady sitting in her car and she couldn’t stop laughing. I know it was very corny but it was so cute. I love all these little gestures saddy makes. Today, she and I met again for lunch. The food was pathetic. Complete waste of money. On our way back, Saddy & I were listening to FM89 and Saddy said that somehow fast car by Tracy Chapman reminded her of us. So she picked up her cell, gave the show a call and after a bit of searching the people at the station found our song. And she dedicated it to me. WOOHOOOO!! I know these are crazy little things but I enjoy them immensely. I believe these little gestures that come straight from the heart mean more than buying somebody something expensive.

Well now some good news for a change. I know, my blogs hardly ever contain anything positive and never has a good news been mentioned but Alhumdulilah I do have something positive to report. I cleared my CSS written exams Alhumdulilah. The news was such a surprise. I wasn’t at all looking forward to the result and I still can’t believe that I made it. I mean I thought that there was no chance that I would make it and I didn’t even remember my roll number. When Geo announced that FPSC had declared the result, all my colleagues got excited and I freaked out. Then Faiza called me and congratulated me. But I couldn’t believe it. Plus the office net was busted so I couldn’t check myself. I called up saddy and she confirmed as well. It still seems surreal given the fact that I just wasn’t prepared. Plus this year round, only 7.5% people cleared the exams. The result came out on the 28th November and since then, it seems that everybody I know reads newspapers. I told very few people myself but almost everybody I know in isloo is calling me up sayin’ we read about it in the newspaper. I am getting calls and messages from people I haven’t spoken to in years. And it seems that news has traveled across the globe somehow cuz I didn’t even tell Aban or Shoaib who are on different continents altogether but they were one of the first ones to congratulate me. It feels great Alhumdulilah. I know I am still far from actually getting into civil service and there’s still the interview to be tackled but I know this by itself is a great blessing and I am humbled beyond words that Allah ji could be so kind to me.

Talat, my boss of course had his own insight into the matter. He had actually made a bet with me that I was most definitely gonna flunk so it feels good to prove him wrong, at least on this account. But he still got the last laugh (not that I did’t enjoy it). He gathered the whole office for a meeting. And just before the meeting started he threw in these words: ‘we are gathered here to pray for the recovery of the dwindling standards of Federal Public Service Commission. Now that Batool has cleared the exam, FPSC needs all the prayers it can get!’. Needless to say, I was the first one to raise my hands for prayers.

I had a good talk with our controller News Ms. Zuberi today. I met her for the first time when she interviewed me for our channel. And she told me today that I was the first person she hired for our Islamabad Bureau, even before the Zuberi’s knew what the setup was going to be. She wanted me to be an Economics correspondent and well I just figured that it was a good opportunity that I ought to at least try once. But once I really started working, I realized that I wasn’t the sort who could just run from one ministry to another chasing stories and financial figures. Production was where I wanted to be and then Talat gave me a chance. Plus reporting meant that I would be on screen and that is something I am not really comfortable with. So I pushed reporting aside and I actually like what I am doing right now. But Ms. Zuberi has her own perspective. She told me clearly that though I am good at what I am doing, I am still far from achieving my potential or what she initially thought and still thinks I am capable of. She said that she always saw me as someone who had the spark to be a great Economics and Finance correspondent given my educational background and she thinks that I am wasting myself. It was almost the kind of talk I have with my dad every now and then.

They say that there is no greater burden then great potential. I think they are wrong. I think there is no greater burden then the potential people think you have, but in reality you don’t.