I am down to one last breath...and i never thought i'd be here.

And so i stand, trying to prolong this as long as i can. I dont know if i will survive this, maybe it will consume me completely, maybe it will give me something i can cherish for life.

But i also have this insatiable desire to make this the most meaningful, most beautiful experience of my life. So, I am doing every single thing I can to look for that silver lining. I am standing on my toes, trying to reach for that sky that holds my dreams. I am bending on my knees so i can convince Allah ji to let me go on. I have my eyes closed, following a path i have no clue about. I dont know what will happen, reason tells me it's everything that requires fortitude, blind faith. My heart just urges me to stay and to try...just a little more, every single day, every single moment.

I have looked for certainities my whole life, and now my life, my heart and my soul are all focused on the most uncertain of the uncertainities i could have created for myself. And i just dont know what to do with myself???