So as I said earlier, I am in Beirut. I know most people tell me that I am insane. People are fleeing out of Lebanon as everyone justifiably fears for their life. So what am I doing here?

I admit that till this point I haven’t been able to come up with a single plausible reason. Not that I have given it much thought. I just know that when I walked into talat’s office…I knew that I wanted to be here. And I am grateful that he thinks I am capable enough to handle this assignment.

I flew from Pakistan on Wednesday morning and stopped briefly in Bahrain. The city has a charm to it I can’t define but I absolutely loved Damascus. For one thing, I felt at ease…being there. I saw women wearing scarves and I saw women in western clothing opting not to cover their heads. I was happy because back home, I am the odd one out. There I was just like any other female.

I spent only a day there, my first evening with the Waheed family. I didn’t know if they would be in Damascus but the moment I landed, I called up the embassy and went to see Uncle Waheed. His Mrs. Is probably one of the sweetest ladies I know. And without doubt, the best cook! It was a good evening. They took me shopping. We drove around the city as well. Really, I’d go visit Damascus any time at all.

The next morning I registered myself with the Syrian Information ministry and received my accreditation. Then we hired a cab and drove towards the Syrian-Lebanese Border.

I knew and expected Lebanese people to be coming into Lebanon. Syrian Red Crescent Society was present on the Border with aid supplies. What I wasn’t prepared for was to see over a hundred Palestinians who have no place to go. They cant live in Palestine…they had found refuge in Lebanon and now because of the war, they can’t stay there. Somehow they reached the border but because they’re Palestinians they cannot enter Syria because they don’t have the visa. Some of them had been there for over ten days without proper shelter. It’s almost a double jeopardy for them. What does a person do when only on the basis of their nationality…they’re not accepted?

I wrote these lines on Thursday. Its Sunday morning now and I have been up since four last morning. I only get about four hours to sleep…I have been up for the bulletins all the time and right now, though I am tired…I cant sleep.

It’s been radically busy these past days. I have seen so much, met so many people. In the mornings I am working out of mbc office and APTN. I meet all these people I had only ever heard of, or seen on TV. I’ve heard my TV channel is trying to plaster my face on the screen constantly. I’d rather just sleep!

Its been a busy day. I woke up as usual when Karachi called me for a beeper. I think I had a nightmare as well. Something to do with my dada ji…cuz I remember waking up and crying. Nothing to do with the war…no…that was not it. It was something else…something to do with searching for something and taking it back to him.

Shan just signed in. I needed to talk to someone from home.

So much has happened today, Rice reached Israel, Hassan Nasrullah threatened to bomb Israel and Israel responded by bombing a check post on the border. For the first time the Syrian-lebanese border has been closed by Syria. This war is not ending any time soon.

Things look bad here and thats an understatement.

Somehow I cant write now. In the past days…all I have heard is bad news. All I have imparted is bad news. I have driven through beautiful towns…deserted. It’s a ghost region here.

I entered zahlay…a border town and it’s beauty captivated me. And yet…I couldn’t see anyone alive there…save five horses tied in the ranch. Their owner left them there...probably in a hurry to save his life. They must have been prized once.

I found out later that Zahlay had been bombed only hours ago. The burnt trucks and houses…a bitter sign!

I think I should get some rest now. Its midnight and I have to wake up in three hours for my morning update.