Have you ever noticed how the flames jump up and down as the heater blazes? I wish I had a real working fire place but for the lack of one, watching flames leap in a heater with a glass of orange juice within my reach is my favorite past time. I usually turn off the lights and listen to Faiz recite his verses in the back ground. I can listen to Faiz for an eternity.

I wish I could have met Faiz. Nuskha-hai-wafa is a veritable accrual of every emotion I have ever felt.

How did he know? Could he ever have known?
‘phir aaya dil-e-zar, nahi koi nahi
Rah’ro ho ga, kahin aur chala jayai ga’

And the familiar anguish of yearning for the unattainable
‘yo’n na tha, mai nai faqt chaha tha yo’n ho jayai’
And the visible throb of destiny
‘phir hum hi qatl ho, aayain yaro’n chalo

As time slips through my hands
‘ik fursat-e-gunah mili who bhi char din
Dekhain hain hum nai hoslai perwardigar kai’
Yet, my agony isn’t at all discreet
‘who baikhabar hi sahi, itnai baikhabar bhi nahi
But if I forsake my love, will I find peace?
Yeh-ahd-e-turk-e-muhabbat hai kis liyai
Sakoon-e-qalb idher bhi nahi, udher bhi nahi
What about my prayers? Were they never pure enough?
‘jag wasda hai, mai bhi wasaa’n

And all this time I thought love would be my deliverance
Aur kya dekhnai ko hai baqi
Aap sai dil laga kai dekh liya
But I am still here, still alive
‘apni himat hai kai hum phir jiyai jaatai hain’

With my derelict heart
‘kai baar us ka daman bhar diya husn-e-do alam sai
Magar dil hai kai us ki khana-e-virani nahi jaati
Unwilling to give up my pain
Tum merai pass raho
Merai qatil, merai dildar, merai pass raho
And this pain of yesterdays fills my empty room
Tanhaee mai kya kya na tujhe yaad kiya hai
Kya kya na dil-e-zar nai dhoondhi hain panahain
Giving the silence a life of its own
‘is tarha apni khamushi goongi
Goya her simt sai jawab aayai
And it is this silence that beckons me to break the silence within
Harf-e-haq dil mai khatakta hai jo kaante ki tarha
Aaj izhar karain aur khalish mit jayai
But then again, who am I kidding?
Ab yahan koi nahi, koi nahi aayai ga.